I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and…that’s saying something because I am 7 months pregnant and ravenous.
A baby on the way, a toddler, a nearly 50-hour a week job with a long commute, a new house that needs some TLC.
Mama is tired. And hormonal. And my irrational outbreaks are maybe pushing my husband to the breaking point.
I have hemmed and hawed for a week and a half about saying this but I need to just say it. I really don’t like being pregnant. In addition to having a less-than-stellar track record with my female parts, I hate how a pregnant woman’s body becomes a topic of conversation during pregnancy. And I really hate faking like I feel good or that I’m chipper. And don’t get me started on the touching.
But let’s be honest, no one wants to hear a pregnant lady complain.
If I could go the whole pregnancy without people knowing I’m pregnant – that would be amazing.
I’m not sleeping, I’m hungry all the time, I don’t like people talking about my weight, and I’m working really hard to combat the crazy that dances around in my head. It’s too much.
Last night, after a long day at work, we finally got Luke settled and I sat down to watch the Olympics. 5 minutes later I was asleep. Clock strikes 1 and Luke is awake with a night terror – have I mentioned we’ve been having those off and on since we moved. Crying out in his sleep and nothing we can do settles him. Eric – who might I point out makes a living by having exceptional hearing – has a magical gift of tuning this out and sleeping soundly through. This inspires an unjust rage in me that no man as amazing as my husband is deserving of. I am not above waking him up and forcing him to suffer with me, and upon doing so he walks into the bathroom to find a cockroach. I’m then awake for the next hour and a half alternating between trying to sleep and just laughing at the absurdity of my life.
I know things are going to get crazier before they get calmer. And we have everything we’ve ever wanted in a life so this full plate and overwhelming feeling are the result of so many amazing things in our lives. But I seriously need to find a stress reliever soon or someone is going to wind up with my hands around their neck and unfortunately it may be my quietly sleeping unassuming spouse.
Sometimes I think bloggers get a bad wrap for not being real. Let’s not be mistaken, it is real over here friends. It is messy and sticky and fast and loud. And honestly, it is the very path I’ve always wanted. So, good with the bad, one step at a time, everything is a phase and here we go.