Writing What’s Wrong

I’m glad we are back! There are so many things I want to blog about, I don’t even know where to begin. I have been paralyzed by stress for most of 2017. The inauguration of doom was exacerbated by our own family drama of unemployment. Job searching when you have a family to support is an emotional roller-coaster. I want to write about that. We tried to use what we had: time. So we went on the family beach trip, visited Colorado for August birthdays, traveled to totality for the eclipse and celebrated our 10th anniversary in TX. I want to write about that too. The veil of stress definitely rob some joy out of most of the moments of the last year. I want to write about that even though it is hard. It turns out I’m an anxious crafter, so I have been prolific this year! I have plenty to write about that. Ellis started public school and Cal started forest school. I want to write about that. The most important thing is I WANT TO WRITE! More to come!

Everything and Nothing

Blogging has been hard for me this year. It’s been hard to talk about craft projects, baby milestones and home décor (and there’s been a lot of it) when I felt that basic human rights and our environment have been threatened. Coupled with a time when I wanted to slow down, savor and soak in all of the time with a baby we know will be our last, it felt like the right decision to put pause on the blog.

The first year with a new baby is all consuming and now that we’re finally sleeping through the night and our little man is able to amuse himself for five whole minutes, I can take a small breath and begin ever so slightly to think about doing something for myself.

I think that all the trite parenting articles have it right when they say that you need to let things go when the new baby comes home but I often wonder are we realistic about how long that period lasts. With Lucas, it was definitely a year before I really felt like we started to find our groove. The last six months with Sean have been exponentially easier than the first six but sleep is a factor second to none. I no longer have to jump into bed the moment their eyelids close and I have a spare hour — even 20 minutes — to take some time for me.

A few months ago we went to a kids birthday party where we caught up with five couples that we spent our 20s with. Every family has 2 kids and we all look worse for the wear. The resounding groan to any inquiry about how people are doing was a reflection of how tired everyone is. These are hectic, busy days and it’s a season of life I wouldn’t give up for the world. I know we’re not alone in that but it has simultaneously been a very isolating time.

That said, it’s important to me to write, to connect with you and to document my experience with these two boys who I hope we’re shaping to make this world better and stronger.

We had an amazing first year full of trips, smiles, milestones, laughter and brotherhood. Thanks for standing by. I missed you much!